I think I just don't belong here. I mean, I can't be my self. I am trying to be but I just can't. I don't know if maybe this is the part of beginning or.. You know, it seems hard to laugh everyday with my classmate. We just say what we need to say. No joke as well, no laugh till tears fall down, no more hanging out to somewhere. I feel weird being here. Being with all of them. Every morning, when I wake up, the first thing on my mind is: "How long I must do this?" or "How long I could survive there?"

This is different from 3 years ago. When I met new friends in new school and they were really friendly to me. I could laugh with at least 5 people in a day. When we didn't really care 'bout the task we had. We fought for it, as long as we happy. I wish I had a time-turner like Hermione did. I wish I could go back to junior high school time. Pathetic wish.

Now, like Taylor Swift said, "Everything has changed". The condition is same, but not the situation. I mean, I met new friends in new school again but are they friendly to me? Do they want to know me more? Or tell their stories why they attended in this school? That's big questions. I wish I was in another school but not here.

All I know, this morning when I woke

is I know something now

I didn't before.